Poem

From Dear Abby's column today, a request for a reprint of a poem that had appeared in her column before:

The author, Edna Massimilla, wrote it after her daughter -- a child with Down syndrome -- was born.

I have always found its message to be very moving and, when I spoke to Edna, she told me it was written to emphasize that every creation is for a purpose. She's in her 90s now and still writing poems and songs -- especially for children with disabilities. Read on:

HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD

A meeting was held quite far from Earth.

It was time again for another birth.

Said the Angels to the Lord above --

This special child will need much love.

Her progress may be very slow,

Accomplishment she may not show.

And she'll require extra care

From the folks she meets down there.

She may not run or laugh or play,

Her thoughts may seem quite far away.

So many times she will be labeled

'different,' 'helpless' and disabled.

So, let's be careful where she's sent.

We want her life to be content.

Please, Lord, find the parents who

Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away

The leading role they are asked to play.

But with this child sent from above

Comes stronger faith, and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given

In caring for their gift from heaven.

Their precious charge, so meek and mild

Is heaven's very special child."

******************

While we feel quite confident at this point that Lily will overcome all of the delays and difficulties she is currently facing, this poem gets to the heart of why we decided to take a "risk" on a special needs child. After three years of agonizing waiting and frustration God showed us that we were actually the ones with special needs. That we had hardened our hearts to His beautiful and wonderful creation. Once we allowed Him to repair our hearts we were finally able to receive the precious gift He had in mind for us. Lily is exactly what the poem says "so meek and mild" and she is most definitely "heaven's very special child." We are extra special blessed in understanding that God guided our path in such a way as to allow us to choose this little girl for our very own, simply out of the faith and love He put in our hearts.

Lullabies and Laughter

The last couple of days have really seen Lily coming out of her shell. She went from being a nearly silent baby to babbling her fool little head off the other night. I can't even give an adequate description of the transformation we are witnessing in her. I will give it a shot, though.
Lily is rightly named for a flower. When we got her she was a tiny little transplant. She was long and spindly like a little plant that was growing and growing but had no sun to make it strong or nutrients to sustain its growth. She was wilted without water and no roots to anchor her.
We have spent the last few weeks pouring love on this little wilted girl and we are so blessed by God to be able to watch her come to life.
As the days and nights have gone by I had been searching for the right song to use as a lullaby. Lily - in spite of her supposed poor hearing - definitely responds to music sung to her. She doesn't really respond to music on the radio, but if you sing to her you get her attention. The right song came to me the other night. I just sing the chorus because it pretty much says everything I need it to say. I sing it as a prayer for her and a prayer for me, and it is such a beautiful picture of adoption.

Bind us together
Lord, bind us together
with cords that cannot be broken

Bind us together
Lord, bind us together
Lord, bind us together with love.

Info. Update

A lot of people have been asking so I wanted to let you all know that Mike and I are planning to stop at Target and Sears tomorrow and register. I think we are finally starting to get a handle on what we need and what Lily is going to need, sorry all of this has been in reverse order, but that's just the way it works with adoption I guess:-)
Also, Lily's full name is Lily-an Xiao Hua Thoreson. We know it's a long, slightly complicated name but we really wanted her to be able to retain her Chinese name. Xiao Hua is pronounced like sea-yeow wa and means "little flower". I sure she will hate us when she starts kindergarten and has to learn how to spell her name, but oh well, parent's perrogative.
We are starting on our 5th full day at home and things are going well. Lily seems to be adapting quite well. I think it will take her a coupe of weeks to realize that this setting is permanent. We did so much traveling and moving around in China, every few days there was a dramatic change in scenery for her. So the longer we are at home the more I think she will relax and come out of her shell. Overall she is a very content and peaceful little girl. She also seems to be quite a serious thinker. Her little eyebrows come together and she just has this intense look of concentration when she sees or hears something new. Yes, she is hearing things and seems to be hearing more everyday, which is amazing! We are very anxious to get her evaluated and find out exactly what is going on with her ears.
Oscar (our 4 legged baby) is adapting to her very well and has already established himself as her protector. She is pretty indifferent to him, but she will smile when he licks her face.
All in all, we couldn't ask for a better transition from travel to home.

Jennifer

Home at Last

Sunday morning here in beautiful, sunny Wisconsin!! It is so good to be home. We survived the 14 hour flight from China - Lily seemed to handle it the best of all. She hardly made a peep the whole flight. We even managed to get a good night's sleep the first night home. Spent the day unpacking yesterday and trying to figure out what "routine" and "normal" are going to look like for us now.
It was so wonderful to come home to chili in the crock pot and fresh cornbread, a stocked fridge, and a table full of gifts for Lily-an. Thanks to all of our wonderful friends who made our home so warm and comforting to come home to.
To all of our China friends - we hope you all made it home safe and sound. We look forward to hearing from all of you in the days and months to come, and seeing all the kids blossom.
Lily seems to be adjusting well. I am totally amazed by how easily she has adapted her sleep schedule. She loves the fresh air - we went for a short walk in the sunshine yesterday and she was very animated and excited. I have to say I love the clean fresh air myself, after all the smog in China, it is a much welcome change.

Jennifer

Coming Home!!!!

Yes, we waiting to board our flight.  We are at the Hong Kong Airport and will be boarding within the hour.  We are ready.  This trip has been very trying in many ways.  It has drained us physically and emotionally at times.  I don't there is anyway to plan for it.  You just have to go through it.  We did, we won the race and now we are coming home with Lily-an.  She is doing great.  We can tell she is stressed and anxious but she is holding in there.  It has been trying the last few days for her but we work through it and keep going.  We know we are in for challenges when we arrive home.  It will be very unsettling for her.  It will require time for her to adapt to her new surroundings.  The good thing about that is we will be familiar with it and we will be relaxed and we hope she will pick up on that.  We are looking forward to seeing our friends and "family" in Mayville.  We probably will be spending the first few days sleeping and adjusting and hopefully Lily-an will adjust to the different hours.  There has been so much that has happened on this trip.  Don't even know where to start.  The blogging was only part of what the trip was like.  We hope it gave everyone reading it a peak into our trip.  Jennifer and I experienced a lot.  We felt like fish out of water.  The food got old and we didn't have an appetite the last few days.  Here at the airport, we each got a sandwich and it was good.  The coffee wasn't even all that good but it worked.  Starbucks would get to expensive if we went everyday.  All in all, it was experience that we enjoyed.  Would we want to do it again, at this time - no.  We may change our minds in the future but right now, no.  Well, this is the last blog of the trip and of the adoption.  We don't know if we will continue the blog or not.  May start a new one.  We will keep everyone informed as to what our plans are.  From the bottom of our hearts, we thank everyone for everything they have done for us during the last 4 years.  Yes, 4 years.  Hard to believe.  The support has been fantastic from so many people.  First we thank our Lord for guiding and sustaining us during the good and bad times.  We owe everything to him first.  Second is our family and friends.  We have so many friends that we don't know where to start.  Our families have been great.  Even if they do live 500 miles away, they have done a lot for us.  God is good.

Last Day in Guangzhou

One last update before we leave for Hong Kong tomorrow afternoon.  Today we had our consulate appointment.  Very quick and simple.  They verified who we were and then after that everyone took an oath and that was that.  We are done, literally.  One more night here then one is Hong Kong then back home.  We are doing ok.  We are ready to come home.  Lily-an is doing great.  Again, improvements everyday.  We will take whatever she will give.  She is our little trooper.  That is it for now.  Will try to post while in Hong Kong when have a few more minutes.  We are getting all packed and ready tonight that way tomorrow we don't have to worry about it.  Take care everyone, until next time.

Only A Few More Days

Hello everyone.  Everything is moving along.  We are enjoying what time we have left- well, the best we can.  We are bored and ready to come home.  Not even the food is good anymore.  Doesn't matter if it is Italian, a burger or whatever, we just want to be home.  To have our own kitchen or our bed.  Lily-an is doing good.  She is doing better and better.  We are having fun with her.  She is a happy baby, unless you don't feed her.  We are at a Starbucks right now.  At least the coffee is good.  Today our reps took all of our paperwork to the US Consulate and everyone is good to go.  Tomorrow we go to the consulate and take an oath.  I don't know what it means but that is tomorrows only thing.  Then on Thursday we get Lily-an's visa and then after that we fly out to Hong Kong at 4pm.  We will spend the night there and then fly out late Friday morning.  Now it is just wait to leave.  We are finding things to do.  You really can't do a lot in the hotel room and it isn't set up to live in.  At least there are some tv shows we can watch.  Not everything is in Chinese.  Today we did the tradition of taking pictures on the Red Couch at the hotel.  That was fun.  All the babies, families and then the group.  Most children did great.  It was fun.  That is what the pictures are of.  Lily-an is bonding well and we are seeing improvement everyday.  She is smiling more and more.  Our little bundle of joy.  She is a blessing.  It is so peaceful to watch her interact, watch her sleep.  What an experience.  We are both blessed to experience this.  She is bringing us so much joy.  I don't think there is any words that can express any of it.  It has been a treat.  We are just enjoying visiting with other families here.  It is fun to see all the little babies and children here.  We don't feel like the white elephant in the living room like we did in Beijing or Zhengzhou.  Very friendly here.  We bought a stroller the other day because our backs were getting sore from carrying Lilly-an in the carrier.  She calms down and really enjoys it.  We figured if it lasts for the duration of the trip, that is fine.  She is happy in it.  She even fell asleep yesterday in it.  Yesterday we went to the Pearl Market.  It took us about 1/2 hour and realized it was time to go.  To much pressure to buy things and how do we know what is real or fake when it comes to gems or stones.  Everything look real but is it.  You walk in to a store and there are 3-4 people offering and trying to sell you.  You tell them no and even more people come to you.  We had enough.  So we walked out and headed down the street to a department store.  We were able to buy pj's for Lily-an.  She did good.  After a few hours out, we took a taxi back to the hotel and enjoyed the day.  We are doing well and look forward to coming home.  Until next time.  Take care and enjoy the photo's

Another Nice Day!

Good morning everyone.  We had yet another nice relaxing day here.  The temperature was cool with a nice breeze.  Feels real good.  Must be the cold from coming in.  Now we will be about 80 during the day here for the remainder of our time.  We just relaxed today. Did some shopping.  Sat by the riverfront at the hotel.  No complaints here.  Lily-an is doing great.  She was calm all day.  Took an afternoon nap and she was good to go.  She is tired and is getting ready for bed.  Has only been getting up for a brief time during the night now.  She is feeling more and more secure.  She knows she will be fed and it will be enough to fill her up.  She loves ice cream.  Yeah, they have ice cream here and she will insist that she gets it if we get a cone or an apple pie with ice cream.  And don't try to short her.  She knows when the plate is empty.  There isn't any fooling her.  She is getting stronger and stronger everyday.  She was able to hold her head up today and is doing great.  We are doing some simple exersises with her and some strength training.  She likes it and smiles and laughs at it.  We try to make it fun.  She has been our ball of joy. She likes getting a bath before bed.  Tonight she was getting one and all of sudden there was this rumble like thunder and the bubbles started to appear.  It was quite funny and smelly.  It seems to soothe and relax her to give her a bath before bed.  Tomorrow we are going to go to the Pearl Market.  They sell real pearls, gems, silver and other precious stones.  They are very inexpensive.  We thought we would go.  Get a chance to get out for a few hours and sight see.  Guengzhou is about 12.5 million people.  It doesn't seem like it where we are at.  Kind of secluded and quiet.  It is a nice way to end a long trip.  We will be finishing up the last 2 appointments we have  over the next few days with the US Consulate.  So our schedule is really light and it gives us time to enjoy here.  The hotel is nice and quiet on our floor.  There are many adoptive families here so it is kind of neat seeing all of them.  We will get to take our picture on the infamous red couch.  That will be all the babies in our group.  Should be interesting.  It is kind of a traditional thing they do.  I had best close.  My battery is about dead on the laptop so take care everyone and talk to you soon.

Hello From Guangzhou

We arrived in Guangzhou last night- flight was late.  We got to the hotel about 10pm and that was way to late.  The flight was 1/2 delayed.  Lily-an did great until about 15 minutes before landing.  We got a supper during the flight of rice and potatoe with bun, vegetable and a pickled something or another.  You should have seen Lily-an.  You ever seen a fish flop on the ground wild and out of control, well that is the best way to describe Lily-an when she saw the white rice.  She went nuts.  All we could do was laugh and of course, give her white rice.  She was all over the place.  This went on for about 15-20 minutes.  Oh, and don't even think of taking it away.  She would have nothing of that.  So, we didn't eat, but she did.  She took the flight well.  Nothing like a bunch of sardines in a can.  It was so packed tight it was uncomfortable.  The flight was about 2 hours.  Long enough.  Other than that 2 hour mess, we are doing great.  The weather is about 90 degrees with about 75% humidity.  They are talking of a cold front coming through in a few days so the temp is supposed to drop to the low 80's.  That will be a nice temperature but they say it's going to be cold.  The air is better and cleaner.  Still can't drink the water.  Bottled water gets old after a while.  We are looking forward to washing our own clothes and drinking out of the tap.  Laundry is expensive in Beijing and Zhengzhou.  Here it seems to be less.  There is competition among local business so there is discounts.  Still, we will be spending about $100 on laundry.  I won't complain, other families will be spending 2-3 times that amount.  It's those little things we take for granted that we miss here.  We are enjoying it though, however, we are ready to come home.  I can't believe there is a Papa Johns here.  I think we will be having some pizza tonight.  There is an American restaurant where we can get a burger and fries, an Italian restaurant and even a few 7-11 stores.  Very touristy here but at least if we need something, we can get it quickly.  Everyone is very friendly.  Here at the White Swan Hotel there are many families who are adopting.  I quit counting.  Today we had to go get a physical, part of the process, for Lily-an and it was crazy busy.  I think there were 50 adopting families there.  All these children.  What a treat.  It went quickly.  We were in and out in under an hour.  It's kind of a cya thing they do.  Make sure everything matches up.  Lily-an was a trooper.  She has been adjusting well.  We are fortunate to have a nurse midwife in our group and we have been able to ask her some question and get opinions and she has been very helpful and only has confirmed out thoughts and questions.  We are on the right track.  Lily-an is coming out of her shell today one again and is bringing us much joy and happiness.  We are seeing little changes from a week ago that are wonderful.  She is playing with teething rings where as a few days ago she had no idea what to do or even pick them up.  Now, she plays with them and more.  We borrowed them so we will have to return them but it is helping now and she is playing.  She is starting to giggle and laugh now.  Even a little is great.  She is more focused and tuned into us now.  Sorry, no pictures to post but should have some tomorrow or the next.  There is a really nice park next to the hotel so we are planning on going over there tomorrow.  So much going on and so little time to write, so, had best go.  Take care and check back later.

Heading Out

Today is our last day in Zhengzhou.  We are ready.  The last few days have been wonderful.  Lily-an is adjusting well and we are to her.  She is "talking" today and is smiling more and more.  She enjoys being held.  We are giving her as much holding time as she wants.  She tells us when she is done.  It is a pretty big miracle we have here.  We are just starting to fully realize that.  The more and more time we spend with her the more she lets us in.  She is starting to come out of the shell.  Zhengzhou has been interesting.  The people we have met have been very friendly and they speak and understand English.  That is nice.  It is time though.  The next few days will be busy in Guangzhou.  Paperwork for the most part.  Start with a physical tomorrow and then just doing some paperwork everyday until Tuesday.  After that 3 days of relaxing and then back home on Friday.  That is the week.  The last 3 days have been good.  Most of the children are doing very well with their new families.  Some of the adults and few of the children have gotten sick.  Jennifer and I haven't.  We have been careful of what to eat and only drink bottled water.  A 16 oz bottle of water is about $2.50 here.  We were lucky and able to buy 1.5L at Walmart for about .40. So that worked.  Everything you drink here is expensive.  Water or Soda.  Then they always take 15% for a gratuity on everything.  So far this week including laundry and some meals here our bill is about $140.  Not bad from what I have heard others have spent.  There is no laundry mats here.  If you want it done, you have to have the hotel do it.  It cost about $6 for a pair of Jeans.  That is one thing we will be very happy to do at home.  We miss it.  All is good otherwise.  Time to finish packing.  Our flight leaves about 8pm local time and we will be arriving in Guangzhou about 10:20pm tonight.  It might be a difficult night for all the little ones.  Don't know what internet is like in Guangzhou so the postings may be slow.  It was free here but do not know about there.  Take care and will post again soon. Mike and Jennifer

A Relaxing Day

Today was a relaxing day.  We spent most of the day sitting around and spending quality one on one time with Lily-an.  We saw her come out of her shell today.  We had her giggling and smiling.  She was happy and content with us today.  Spent a lot of time with eye to eye contact with her.  She really is full of life.  We just have to work on bringing that out.  A little bit at time is great.  We will take that.  Everyday will be better and everyday she will let us in to her world.  She has that spark in her eye now that we saw in her pictures.  She did not want to take a nap today so she was out by 7pm.  We hope she sleeps most of the night.  Last night, she had us up for about an hour.  She settled down at about 3am and slept until 7:30.  That was nice, that meant we slept until 7:30.  We have completed all paperwork here.  It is nice to have the next few days to relax and spend that much needed quality time.  Tomorrow we will be walking to a park that is about 5 minutes away from the hotel.  It is nice and quiet and will be a nice way to spend a few hours outside with Lily-an.  We are looking forward to it.  We are winding down from the day.  Getting used to being parents.  It is a good thing.  We are truly blessed.  Lily-an is showing and teaching us a lot.  Today was a great day.  She is starting to trust and feel safe with us.  We know it is only a small step but it is starting.  We know this process could take several weeks or months but today was a great day.  She was smiling a lot today.  Took her out for a stroll and she really was looking around.  Looking at the trees, building, bikes and scooters going by.  She seems like she is focusing in on things more than the last two days.  It's great!  Tomorrow will be a fun day.  We will relax and spend that time that is so desperately needed.  Until tomorrow, take care everyone.

It's Official

Good day everyone.  Well, today it is official.  We did the adoption registration which finalizes her adoption here in China.  The notary makes it official.  It has been a very good day so far.  Lily-an is sleeping comfortably and we are relaxing in our room.  We are getting her schedule right and keeping her on it.  She is doing well.  She is bright, alert and always looking around.  After the 3 1/2 hour crying episode during the night, today is going so much better.  We didn't hear what she was trying to tell us.  Now, we get it.  She is content so far.  We are very blessed.  After 4 years it is finished.  Now, a new chapter.  As we sit and watch her while she is sleeping we realize how precious she is and how great is our God.  He has fulfilled his promises.  Some days we wondered, but we hung in there and it was worth it.  All of it, is worth it.  Today, we are going to a place called the Lotus Center.  It is like a 3 story shopping mall.  We would like to get a few things for the rest of the week.  The Walmart that is 3 blocks away doesn't have a whole lot.  It is definately not like the one back home.  The thing I will say that is positive, the workers are very helpful and every 1 or 2 isles has someone there standing to help you find what you are looking for and they do speak some English.  Actually, a lot of people here speak some English.  Better than Beijing.  The smog is no better and we have been advised of what to expect after we get home.  We have been told that Guangzhou is not any better.  We leave for there on Friday night at 8pm and arrive a little after 10pm.  We are done with all paperwork here so that gives us 3 days to bond and relax.  Had best close.  Have a great day everyone!

Long Night

Well, it's about 5:00 a.m. here and we finally have a happy baby!  She did fall asleep fairly early last night, around 8:00, but was up again at 1:30 a.m. and not happy!!  After 10 or 15 minutes we figured out she had a really nasty gas bubble, she was happy for a few minutes, and then she started her angry cry.  You can tell what kind of afternoon I had yesterday while I was waiting for Mike to get back from shopping for formula and cereal for her - I already know her angry cry quite well:-p Checked the big three - diaper, hunger, pain.  Diaper was wet, so changed that, but it just pissed her off more.  One in the morning isn't a normal feeding time, but her whole day was messed up yesterday so we tried a bottle - wanted nothing to do with it.  She was not in pain, she was obviously very angry - I sure you will all get to know that about her soon enough:-)  This little girl definitely knows what she wants and doesn't want - and last night she didn't want us!  So lots of walking and rocking, walking, and rocking.  She likes singing and humming -that calmed her down for a little while, but she refused to sleep, and she would eventually wind herself up again.  Tried a little bit of cereal, and that just seemed to piss her off to, back to walking and rocking.  By 4:30 she was pretty much inconsolable to anything and of course Mike and I are both beyond exhausted.  In a last ditch attempt to at least try to do something, I tried giving her the cold cereal we had mixed up earlier. What do you know - she is actually a little piglet.  The problem before was that we weren't feeding it to her fast enough!!!  No playing around with food for this one.  She is serious about her eating.  She ate two bowls of cereal and topped it off with half a bottle of apple juice - which she wouldn't have anything to do with earlier.  So now she's happy and back to sleep - so is Dad:-)  Mike is catching on fast to the world of babies:-)  I'm goint to try and catch a little sut eye now too.  Later Jennifer

No Words Right Now

Enjoy the photos.  There is nothing that can be put into words that describe this moment.  Nothing.  We have been blessed.  God is good!  We are humbled beyond any words right now.  4 years of hard work, 4 years ups and downs, 4 years later; we won the "race".  We have our daughter in our arms.  God, why did you choose us?  Why do we deserve this precious gift?  I don't think either Jennifer or I will ever know the answer to that question until the day we see Jesus.  I don't think I can even begin to understand the "why".  Thank you everyone for praying, thank you everyone for everything you have done.  All thanks and praise to the Lord.  Glory be to God.  Check back later for updates.  Time for some down time.

Waiting

Soon, a family will be getting their child here in the hotel lobby. That will be an awesome event. They are excited. We are to. With two hours we will be in their shoes. We are eagerly waiting for it. We have everything ready to go. Just not ourselves:). God is in control. We are as ready as we can be. He is giving us a great gift today. Will ost again later. Check back, the next post will be with Lily-an.

Sent from my iPod

2 Days in Beijing

We flew into Beijing at about 3pm on Thursday the 22nd.  After being up for almost 30 hours and a 13 hour flight, we were exhausted.  Met a few of the other couples and then disappeared to our rooms.  Up at 3 am on Friday morning and ready to go.  Had a good breakfast then at 9am we were off.  Stopped a few smaller shops then we went to the Forbidden City.  What a place.  Had no idea of how big it really was.  We only saw a small portion of it and we were there about 2 hours.  There were droves of people.  Too many for us.  We enjoyed it and were amazed at the building and designs.  Then, it was across the street to Tiananmen's Square.  Spent a brief amount of time there.  Got a rickshaw ride and all from a different part of Beijing.  Went to a small village are within Beijing.  It was called the Hutong.  Interesting to see it.  By then most of us were tired so we went for a bite to eat and then back to the hotel.  Slept better the 2nd night but, we were up at 4am this time.  Waited for breakfast and then it was off to a jade factory.  Beautiful work, skilled people.  Then, we all went to the great wall. That was neat.  More people there than I could count.  We climbed hundreds of steps and are feeling the effects yet today.  The smog was terrible in Beijing and made it difficult.  You can see that in the pictures.  It isn't a haze but smog.  Later on in the day, we went to Olympic Village.  We the water cube and the birds nest.  That was fun.  Jennifer and a few of the other ladies stayed in the bus and talked.  Again, we were exhausted but wanted to see it.  What a place.  Then, it was off for supper and then back to the rooms.  Slept better, but up at 5 am this time.  Each night is getting better. Today, we flew here to  Zhengzhou.  Staying at a beautiful hotel.  5 stars plus.  Marble, columns, everywhere you look.  Free internet so that is great. We are getting prepared for tomorrow.  We are all meeting at 9:30 am and then it is off to the Civil Affairs office.  We, along with most of the other families, will then pick up Lily-an. It will be a busy 2 days with a lot of paperwork to finish.  Friday we head out.  At least Thursday and Friday are two days we will be able to rest from the busyness of paperwork.  We will get that much needed quality time with Lily-an.  Tomorrow will be a big day.  Will post an update soon with photo's of Lily-an.  It maybe a bit overwhelming but bare with us, the updates may be delayed over the next few days. Check out the photo's from Beijing.  Until next time everyone.

Count Down

Hey guys!
Only a few hours to go. I can't even describe to you how this moment feels. Even to this moment it doesn't feel real yet. I did get a little bit of a shock when I came back to our room and found that the hotel staff had placed a crib in our room while we were gone.
All I can say about the trip so far is that the other families are the very best part of it. That is the only thing that has been off the charts better than I expected. Everything else I could really have done without. The youngest child in our group will be 11 months old and the oldest will be 5 years. There is only one other family that will be first time parents along with us. Their daughter is 4 years old and she also has hearing loss.
It is hot, hot, hot here and we aren't even all the way south yet! Glad we checked the weather before we left and packed summer clothes for the most part.
We miss you guys so much and we wish you were here to share this with us! We leave the hotel at 9:40 Monday (tomorrow) morning for the Civil Affairs office. Six of our total of 10 families (including us) will receive our children then. Please, please keep us in your prayers, especially for our health (all of us parents) and the health of the children because they are checking temps on everyone at the airports here.
I guess that's all for now. Tomorrow the whole world changes:-) Give my pup a squeeze - I miss my buddy:-(

Jennifer

From China

Hi from China!!!!
Tomorrow is the big day! Can't believe it's here already. Things are going well. Feeling better after the initial exhaustion. The other families are awesome. Two of the other little girls are right around Lily's age. We get the kids around 10:00 a.m. Monday which will be about 11 p.m. Sunday night for you guys.
Alisha -Hope Friday went well for you. Hope you have been talking to Vicky:-)
Can't wait to get home and talk to everyone again! My phone bill is going to be horrendous for the first weeks I'm home just trying to play catch up with everyone.
Got some other emails to send so take care. Hope to post some pictures later tonight of the Great Wall and other things we have seen so far. We will post pictures of Lily as soon as we can.
Keep all of us in your prayers tomorrow. Also pray for our finances. Things are not cheap here at all. Everything is way more expensive than any of us were prepared for. Mike and I are doing o.k., but we have only purchased one "souvenir". Just our meals alone are going to take up most of what we set aside for spending money. All of the other families are in the same boat:-( That's o.k., though, we didn't come here for crappy souvenirs anyway:-)
Gotta go - gotta try and find some supper.

Jennifer

Here We Are

We flew into Beijing at about 3pm on Thursday the 22nd. After being up for almost 30 hours and a 13 hour flight, we were exhausted. Met a few of the other couples and then disappeared to our rooms. Up at 3 am on Friday morning and ready to go. Had a good breakfast then at 9am we were off. Stopped a few smaller shops then we went to the Forbidden City. What a place. Had no idea of how big it really was. We only saw a small portion of it and we were there about 2 hours. There were droves of people. Too many for us. We enjoyed it and were amazed at the building and designs. Then, it was across the street to Tiananmen's Square. Spent a brief amount of time there. Interesting to see it. By then most of us were tired so we went for a bite to eat and then back to the hotel. Slept better the 2nd night but, we were up at 4am this time. Waited for breakfast and then it was off to a jade factory. Beautiful work, skilled people. Then, we all went to the great wall. That was neat. More people there than I could count. We climbed hundreds of steps and are feeling the effects yet today. The smog was terrible in Beijing and made it difficult. You can see that in the pictures. It isn't a haze but smog. Later on in the day, we went to Olympic Village. We the water cube and the birds nest. That was fun. Jennifer and a few of the other ladies stayed in the bus and talked. Again, we were exhausted but wanted to see it. What a place. Then, it was off for supper and then back to the rooms. Slept better, but up at 5 am this time. Each night is getting better. Today, we flew here to Zhengzhou. Staying at a beautiful hotel. 5 stars plus. Marble, columns, everywhere you look. Free internet so that is great. We are getting prepared for tomorrow. We are all meeting at 9:30 am and then it is off to the Civil Affairs office. We, along with most of the other families, will then pick up Lily-an. It will be a busy 2 days with a lot of paperwork to finish. Friday we head out. At least Thursday and Friday are two days we will be able to rest from the busyness of paperwork. We will get that much needed quality time with Lily-an. Tomorrow will be a big day. Will post an update soon with photo's of Lily-an. It maybe a bit overwhelming but bare with us, the updates may be delayed over the next few days. Check out the photo's from Beijing. Until next time everyone.

Update from Beijing

The smog is terrible here. The traffic/people and everything going on seems a little overwhelming right now. Yesterday, we left at 9am and did not get back until 7pm. I think we were in bed by 8. A lot of walking. The vendors are persistant. Today it is off to the Great Wall. I think I will send an email with attachments tomorrow morning before we leave for Henan for an update. All is good. Sleep schedule is screwed up but we are getting "some" good sleep. Just don't like waking up at 3am. Makes for a long day.

Made It!

Well, as you can see we made it. Everything is Great!!! We are getting ready to leave in a few minutes for all day touring. The blog is blocked so we are unable to post it our selves. So we are sending Roy an email with attachments to post. Better go. Talk to you all later.

Mike and Jennifer

P.S. updates may be delayed so check the blog every few days.

Home Stretch

Well, it's finally here. We leave for Chicago tomorrow morning to catch our plane to China tomorrow afternoon! It feels like we should have a lot more to do to actually get ready to make such a big trip, but everything is pretty much done. We managed to get the majority of our packing done last night. All we have left is to throw in the last minute essential stuff. Of course I didn't get to clean the house from top to bottom exactly like I wanted to, but oh well, it will still be here waiting to be cleaned when I get home. The dishes and laundry are done at least, and the fridge is empty so we don't have to worry about growing anything weird while we are gone:-)
So today the big thing on our list is going to the bank. The big thing on my list is getting a massage! I know I really need to relax.
The crazy thing is, that in spite of the place we are actually standing today - I am still facing the monster of fear and doubt. Until going through this whole process I never really understood how deep my fear and mistrust of God ran and still runs. Even after all of the love and good things God has shown us along this journey I am still afraid that He is going to leave me hanging at the last minute - that He won't keep His promises - that He doesn't love me. My brain knows that none of those things are true - I know that God is faithful and true and He keeps every promise. I know that He loves me so much that He sent His only son to die on the cross for me. Mostly, I can't get my head around that kind of love, and all I know is I certainly haven't earned it and don't deserve it.
So the truth be told, I am a little shaky and fragile today, but pointing out the monster is half the battle in overcoming it. I am determined to let go of the reins because God is not going to steer us wrong now. God called us to this very day over four years ago and His word says it best:

1 Thessalonians 5:24
"The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

Stay tuned! Hopefully the next update we make is from the other side of the world!!!:-)

Jennifer

One Week From Today

This time next week we will be in the air and on our way to China! I can hardly believe it's here already. How can that be after waiting so long and so impatiently that now things are moving too fast?! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to meet our daughter and hold her in my arms. I am just wondering what exactly we spent the last 3 1/2 years doing because we still have a million things to get done before we leave. The problem is that people keep asking me what we need or need help with and I have no idea!!! My mind is full and empty at the same time if that's possible. I think my hard drive is locked up:-) You know - the little hour glass symbol is spinning and spinning and nothing is happening. I am hoping that I can get a grip by this weekend, that once I'm done with work on Friday the cobwebs will clear.
Going shopping for travel supplies tonight I think. Off to find my husband right now and get a move on!

We're going to China!!

Can't believe I haven't updated this since Sept.! Found out yesterday that we do indeed have other families in our travel group. Yay! Looking forward to meeting them and their children and hearing their stories. So much to do - so little time now! Back to work for the moment - trying to get a million things finished before we leave, but having a hard time concetrating:-)

Jennifer

Moving Forward

One step closer! We got our fingerprints done and approved last Wednesday and while we were there we were able to put in a request for them to expedite the paperwork. Because the final piece of paper we need before we can get our travel dates is the all important I-171H which is issued at a later date - basically whenever immigration gets around to it. The way things were trending with our local office, it was taking 3+ months for them to process the I-171H after fingerprints.
After almost a week of not hearing anything back about the expediting process we decided enough was enough and called our congressman. That was on Wednesday and they said we would have a call back yesterday, which we did not get, so Mike called again today, but the lady was out of the office. With in 15 minutes of him leaving a message for her we received a call directly from the head "Orphan Officer" in our local immigration office. He just needed to verify that we had indeed paid for our processing fee and he said he would be processing our paperwork this afternoon or Monday! That should put the I-171H in our hands sometime early next week. Yeah! As long as we get that by next Friday our agency said we will most likely be traveling Oct. 14th. We will be traveling with a group of 8 other families as it stands right now.
A few more days of wait and see, but we are so much closer now! What a difference a day makes. I was pretty down yesterday about the lack of answers and just frustrated with the whole system. But I guess if we didn't have all of these delays and discouragements along the way there wouldn't be any reason for God to show up. And show up He has all along the way. So many times I didn't think I could go another day, and He would show up with exactly what I needed to keep moving forward.
When I chose the name of this blog I did not have any idea how accurate it would be. We have had to walk by faith every step of the way, never knowing timelines, resources, who, how, where, or why. All I can say is every single step has been worth it. Painful, uncomfortable, scary, crazy, exciting, wonderful and horrible all at once. I wouldn't change a single minute of the last 3 1/2 years.
Thanks so much for all of the prayers they have helped to get us this far. Don't quit now - we still need all of the prayers we can get. Tune in next week!:-)

From a Fathers Perspective

It has been a long time since I last posted. Probably too long. It's kind of hard to post on a blog when there is really nothing new to report. As you can see (read), a lot has changed. It has changed fast, it has changed scary, it has just changed and I don't think I want it to go back. Really, take a hard look at everything that has happened in the last 4-6 weeks of our lives. The emotional toll, the physical, the uneasiness, the highs and lows and everything else. All for a child that so wants a family, she just doesn't realize it yet. And, for a couple in the middle of Wisconsin that so desperately wants children. Hell, one would be enough. Just to experience the joys, the downs, the excitement of a child. A dream that is coming true. Oh, to be a dad. To hear "Daddy". What more is there in life than that. Really, when it comes down to it, does anything else really matter? No, but don't get me wrong. There are a lot of things that do matter and I probably can't put my finger on everyone, but are they really that important as raising a child? I am kind of the salty and crusty kind of guy. I have this hard outer shell that is really tough to get through. Well, that is what I am told. I look at my past and things that have happened to me and the things I have done and it all makes sense. I think this little girl is cracking the shell and we don't even have her in our arms yet. God works in such mysterious ways and I don't have a clue as to what they are. Jennifer and I were given a rare gift last week from our agency. They sent us a link of 5 videos of Lily that were taken on Sept 1. This is just something that doesn't happen that often from what we understand. Talk about heart wrenching. First, let me say this out of love to all, but don't ask to see them. Jennifer and I decided that they will remain with us to view with Lily when the time is appropriate. It is something we feel is best. Don't worry, there will be plenty of video and pictures when we get her. Some we will share, some we won't until Lily has viewed them first when the time is right. God gave us a confirmation that day. It is all coming together now. It has taken almost 4 years but it finally coming together. You look into her eyes and you see the soul, her spirit. There is so much life in those eyes. It will be my responsibility as a father for her to live her life and do what I can for her. To care, to nurture, to teach her, to raise her to love the Lord God. Most fathers don't realize the responsibility but it is one that we have. Of course there is the responsibility of the parents to raise a child together and that is all good and well, but, there is a responsibility of the father for raising a child. Some people may not agree with that, but it is true. I have no clue how to raise a daughter but I think I will be learning everyday. I don't even know how to change a diaper-that is the first day. There is so much life in those eyes. To bring you home. To be able to give you a good life. To be able to help you live your dreams. To give you the necessities of life: food, shelter and clothing. To share our Love with you. See you off on your first day of school, high school, college. Walking you down the aisle for your own wedding. To be able to experience that with you and everything in between. To be there for the down times in your life. We will always be there. We will not be perfect parents. That is impossible. But, we will try to do our best. That is our promise. You will hate us at times, you will love us most of the time, and then there will be those times when..... Just so you know, you have a place that will always be there. That will never change. We hope and pray that Lily will build her life on that same Rock as we have. The Rock of Christ. Having children is one of the greatest gifts God can ever give a couple. It isn't the top, but it is up there. We have experienced the greatest gift and that was the gift of life that was given through the death of Jesus on the cross, the gift of eternal life. That is the best. Now we get to experience some of the other gifts. Soon we will be bringing Lily home. Lord, we completely and fully trust you with everything that is going on. With the fingerprinting, with the travel arrangements, with the financial burdens, everything. You are in control. You have not let us down through this process. Yes, you have been there and everything has worked out for good. We may not have liked it, or not have expected it a certain way, but it has always worked out. Your way has been the best, I see it now more clearly than before when I look into Lily's eyes. I see so much more clearly now. You have put a face, a life, to everything that has been going on for the last 5 years. You have answered our prayers. We see it now, we see it now. Praise you Father, praise you. You are good. Yes, you are good. Thank you for everything your are doing and everything you have done. Protect Lily Father God, keep her in your arms until we can have her in ours. Let her know we are coming soon. We will not quit. We are coming. We will be there soon. Keep her safe Lord. Thank you Lord! All this, from my perspective which is blurred sometimes and then it is crystal clear. The love, the emotion, the sacrifice, the late nights. Whatever it is, it will all be worth it. Oh, to be a dad. A dream, a promise, a journey that is ending and another that is just beginning. To hear, Daddy...........

Pray Hard!

We need everyones prayers this week! Wednesday is our fingerprinting appointment with immigration. First of all pray that our prints will be accepted - their machines can be very fussy if you have the tiniest cut or nick on your finger pad your prints can be rejected. Second of all pray that we can get through to someone who can get us the piece of paper we need (the I-171H) immediately or as close to immediately as possible. The way this works normally is that the prints are sent electronically to the FBI and the FBI responds back electronically approving or denying our prints. The actual approval or denial happens very quickly. Then the approval notice sits on someone's desk at our Milwaukee immigration office until they get around to generating the the piece of paper that is the I-171H, that states that yes we are cleared and approved. THAT IS ALL WE NEED!!!! That single piece of paper and we are on our way to China! So pray hard for the people in the immigration office, that the right person at the right time would be available to us and have a heart soft to our situation. Jennifer

And the Wait Goes On

Just waiting now for our fingerprint appointment scheduled for September 9th. Found out today that we may be able to get in earlier than that, but will have to wait and see. It also sounds like we will be able to secure our I-171H quicker than we first thought so that is good news too. There is even a remote possibility that we could still travel sometime in September! What a roller coaster!
Other than that we are busy finishing all of our remodeling projects. Alisha and Josh came down this weekend and helped us gut the bathroom and replace the tub and sink. Alisha painted Lily's room for me - it looks much more like a bedroom now that the new sink and tub are out of there and where they belong:-) Thanks guys, you are awesome!! Mike spent the day working on the ceramic tile surround. Looks like it will probably take him another couple of days, but it is looking good.

It's Officially Official!!!

We were supposed to be packing to leave for a weekend of camping this morning, but nothing was going right. Our week had been crazy busy and we hadn't had a chance to look at any of our camping supplies or get any groceries and on top of that a huge wall of rain was beginning its march across the state. Mike in particular had been looking forward to this weekend since early this spring. It was not just camping, but a car show and camping! Plus, Oscar is still recovering from his surgery. And I have tons, and tons of work in the shop. And Mike has a car he has to get finished for a customer. And Mike got paged out for an EMS call at 8:00 a.m. Get the idea?

So after grumbling to each other about how much both of us wanted to get away but nothing was going according to plan, we decided to call it off. Sleeping in a soggy tent didn't sound like fun to either one of us. I tried to cheer Mike up by saying "Maybe God has a really good reason He wants us to stay home."

About an hour later I check our email and we had an email from our agency saying they had received our LOA or "Letter of Acceptance" from China. They wanted to know if they could Fed Ex us the paperwork so we could get it and sign it tomorrow. They also said they expect us to travel in the next 4-6 weeks!!!!!

The countdown is on! I think once China gets our signed LOA, then they issue our travel dates. Please keep us in your prayers! We still have to get our fingerprints done, and you know how government agencies can be. So much to do and suddenly we have so little time, but we couldn't be happier:-)

Lily-an's Name

I just realized that Mike didn't update the whole story on how we came to the name Lily-an. As he stated, her name came to me in a dream early last July. I had a dream that I was holding our daughter and calling her by name. Then I actually had to write her name down in the dream, which was rather odd and memorable, how often do you write something in a dream? The name I was saying and wrote down was Lillian. I didn't share the dream with Mike right away. I just kind of tucked it away. At that particular time I was struggling to keep my hope and faith alive. I didn't want to share it right away because I was afraid Mike might not like the name and that it would dash the little piece of hope I was hanging onto, that the dream was God's little burst of encouragement to me. But the next Sunday after the dream I just felt God urging me to share the name with Mike. So during the middle of the service I whispered to him "I think I know our baby's name" and passed him a slip of paper with Lily-an written on in. We had both discussed that we would like to give our child an authentic Chinese name. Lillian was not very Chinese:-) So I changed the spelling to Lily-an. At this point, however, I had no idea what the Chinese ending "an" meant. Flowers are very symbolic in Chinese culture, but I didn't know the particulars on the lily either.
Needless to say Mike liked the name. So after church I got out my Chinese name book and started looking up the meanings. I decided to choose a Chinese symbol to represent Lily. There were many types of lilies that had different meanings, but I settled on the Morning Star Lily which symbolizes strength and determination. "an" can mean either peace or white and I thought those were both appropriate as well. Then comes the kicker. I wanted to know what a Morningstar Lily looked like (the gardener in me) so I Googled Morningstar Lily. But instead of a bunch of horticultural websites, the first listing was a Chinese name. You can't imagine the goose bumps I felt when I opened the page.

http://www.guanweixing.com/ychildgal2/ymshandandan.htm

The second listing was also a Chinese name. All I could think of after I listened to the song called "Morningstar Lily" is that God just gave me a glimpse of our daughter's personality. Light and full of joy.

http://www.last.fm/music/Lei+Qiang/_/Morning+Star+Lily

After going through some of the darkest days of this wait, that dream and those two websites confirmed in my heart that God still had his hand in all of this. Now we had a name, and I remember telling Mike that maybe this means our daughter has been born. When I had that dream Xiao Hua would have been about two weeks old.
It is incredible to look back and see how perfectly God has directed every part of this journey.

At Long Last!

The update everyone has been waiting for! We have been matched with a darling 13 month old little girl. Her Chinese name is Xiao Hua. We have had her American name picked out for over a year now (see previous post). It is such a blessing to finally be able to put a face with her name - Lily-an. Her Chinese name actually means "little flower", God's signature on what has truly been a remarkable journey!
Now a little more waiting must take place before we can finally bring her home. It will be two to three months before we will travel to pick her up. Right now we are waiting to get our fingerprints taken for the 3rd and final time (thank goodness). After that is completed we will just be waiting for our travel date assignment.
It is truly difficult to express the jumble of feelings that we are both going through right now. Of course joy and excitement, but also a surreal disbelief that this is finally, really going to happen! Suddenly so many things to do and so little time! We were not expecting to be matched with Lily, we thought she had already been matched with another family, so we were surprised when our agency contacted us to see if we wanted to look at her file. We were prepared to continue waiting into sometime next year according to all of the wait time lines.
But God had a different plan, and when God puts a plan in motion nothing can stand in His way. Many of you have witnessed and shared our struggles through this time. Now we have a testimony to give. This is the what we have been waiting for, more importantly, WHO we have been waiting for. We are so glad God gave us the strength to persevere. All of the tears, anger, discouragement, and frustration were worth it. He has proven Himself faithful and true. We know the truth in our hearts of Philippians 4:6,7 which reads:

"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

We cannot claim to have carried out God's instructions perfectly. There were many, many days of worrying and thinking that God must not be hearing our prayers. But God fortified us with just enough faith along the way, that no matter how long the wait was dragging out, or how hopeless and endless it seemed, He had a good plan and a good purpose if we would just hang in there.
Now we know the peace of God. The peace that God has given us confirms in our hearts that Lily-an Xiao Hua is indeed the daughter He promised. We are also confident that whatever needs she may have, He will give us the wisdom, strength, and ability to provide for her.
We would just ask for your continue prayers. We will hopefully be making more frequent updates as we get closer to travel time.