As Lily ushers in her second year of life I can't help but think about how different her life is today compared to her life in China. Even as she makes miraculous strides in development, in many ways they serve as a stark reminder of just how extremely deprived and damaging her first year and a half of life really was. Something as simple as walking underneath a canopy of trees is a stunning and delightful experience for her. Yet with all of the new and beautiful things and experiences at her finger tips, she still withdraws to her private, personal shell (though less and less). And while it may seem like every parent's dream to have a child the rarely if ever cries, for me, it is a gut wrenching reminder that humanity proved to her early on that crying does no good and no one cares anyway.
Our little flower is getting stronger and healthier every day, but it will take a long time and constant, intense care and love to help her set her roots deep to give her the stability she will need to bloom in abundance.
And in answer to the many unspoken questions and concerns - yes we know Lily isn't doing all of the things normal 2 year olds do. No we are not oblivious to her delays, nor are we glossing over them and hoping they will just go away. I think many people are worried that we are simply blinded by love and don't see the reality of how significant her delays are - rest assured we know. What we do have is a strong and deep faith that God will help Mike and I help Lily reach the full potential the He has in mind for her. I don't even try to imagine what plans God has for her, because if I try to do that with my limited imagination I might unwittingly inhibit a potential that is beyond my comprehension.
I hope this posting doesn't seem heavy and depressing because it isn't meant to be. Lily is such a tremendous joy and blessing. Every day she teaches me new things about love, life, strength, determination, and above all else, faith and hope. The scripture that we started this journey with is even more true and fitting today than it was then: Hebrews 11:1
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I cannot see the future, but my hope rests in God who brought about the miracle of this little girl in the first place and took us on the most amazing journey to unite us as a family.
