A Thankful Day.

Hard to believe that today is Thanksgiving. That means winter is coming and the way it feels outside I would say it's close. We have had a very nice fall. Warm temps, a lot of sun, little rain. Until this past week. I think all that nice stuff is gone for now. Started thinking about Thanksgiving and what it means. Think back to the original settlers who started it and why they did it. Then I started to think about what I am thankful for this year. I am not a sentimental person or anything like that but I do reflect on a lot of things. I thank God for this past year first and foremost. I try to thank him daily so this is nothing different. We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, some food in the pantry and a few other things. I am thankful to be a father. I have a beautiful daughter who has taught me so much. I would never go back to life before her. Some people may look at us wonder why did we adopt a daughter with special needs. You had a choice, you could have had a "healthy" child. Well, God didn't have that in mind for us and if we had chosen to stay in the traditional program, we would still be waiting. Even with all the appointments during the week and the recent trips to Children's in Milwaukee it is all worth it. She brings so much life and energy to our house. She is rarely sad or unhappy. The smiles and her laughing can make anyone laugh no matter how they are feeling. It's hard to believe that a child with a very rough start in life has that attitude she has. I am thankful for that ray of sunlight she brings. Jennifer and I both agree that life is so much better now. That one piece that was missing for so long is no longer missing. Life is full of blessings everyone. Sometimes they are hard to see but they are there. I am thankful for a wife that puts up with me. I am a stubborn person sometimes. Must be that Norwegian in me. She loves me no matter what. We have been together over 20 years now. :) So thankful that Lily-an is growing, developing and doing so well. She is a strong willed child just like her Chinese name means. Who would have thought. So much to be thankful for this year. So much has gone on it feels like a whirlwind at times. But still thankful everyday that God has blessed our family so much beyond anything we could have imagined. I don't know how we do it somedays but we do. Thankful God is there to guide us through. Sometimes we have to make decisions, thankful that God is there to help with that. Thankful for a great year. Thankful in advance, good or bad, for the year to come.

A prayer for Lily-an

I can't believe how fast this past year has gone. I haven't blogged anything since we got home. I know Jennifer has been doing it but I haven't. She seems to do a better job at it than me. Today was a rough day. It was hard for Lily-an but also Jen and I. We knew going to Childrens today might be an upsetting day for her. Anytime a doctor has to look in Lily's ears or mouth, it is a struggle. She flat out does not like it. Well, after our last ENT visit in July the doctor recommended that she clean out Lily's ears. We opted not to because we knew it would upset her but also we had an appointment to get her legs casted for braces and didn't know what to expect and figured it would be too much. The casting went ok but she was upset which we expected, not bad though. Today, I had kind of had the feeling it wasn't going to be an easy day at the clinic. The nurse practitioner looked in her ears and said there was wax and she couldn't see the tubes clearly and thought they had come out. There was also dried blood. Not such a good thing. Well, she said she would have to clean the wax out so she could see. Oh boy, was that rough. Lily-an was one very mad child. She was pissed to say the least. The NP could only get a few small pieces of wax out and wasn't able to see a whole lot more. Lily-an was making noises we had never heard before she was so mad/upset. She had no bones telling us either. The NP prescribed a ear drop medication to help soften the wax and clean up the ear canal. We go back in 2 weeks for a follow up and we pray the ears are cleaner so she can see the tubes and ear drums. There is a possibility that Lily-an will not need tubes put back in if the ear drums look good and the fluid is draining like it should. We have to put drops in her ears twice a day she said. Well, 30 minutes later she was still upset. She was telling us what she thought of that. It is hard to hold your little one down like that. She doesn't understand and we can't explain it to her to help. It is just something that has to be done. I am guessing it will be done every 3-6 months now. I don't think we will have a choice. Maybe it will get easier.
Tonight went well. She fussed only a little when putting the drops in and then was her happy self. Then off to bed.
As for the ortho doc, he said there is a possibility that she won't need to have the surgery after the casting is done. If the foot stretches enough then she may not need it. The good thing is we talked with ENT and Ortho and they would be able to the 2 surgeries at the same time. That would be nice. It would be easier on Lily-an. Both surgeries would take 5 minutes total. Very quick to do. I am asking for prayer for Lily-an. We know God has his hand in all of this and is doing wonders in Lily-an we get to experience everyday. Pray for the doctors, pray for Lily-an that she wouldn't need either surgery - yes, we do believe in miracles, pray that Lily-an is comforted through the whole ear thing and the next 10 days with the drops. In 2 weeks that the ears are clear and the fluid is not built up behind the ear drums requiring tubes. She is one tough child. She will take it all in stride and if the surgeries are required, we will do it because we know it is best for her. Last but not least, pray for us the we have the wisdom to know what to do. Peace is always good for us. It was a stressful day for us.

Another First

Well, this wasn't a first that we were expecting to record today, but what parent is ever expecting to bring their child home in their first cast? Luckily no broken bones are involved!

Lily had a standard check up with her orthopedic doctor this morning to check the progress of her feet. She has been wearing new braces since July to help correct her foot positioning and to stretch her achilles tendon. When a child is born with club feet, basically the achilles tendon is to short/tight and this causes the foot to curl. The tighter the tendon the more severe and debilitating the condition becomes. The standard treatment is to have the infant wear a series of casts that increasingly stretch the tendon and then to maintain the position achieved by the casts by having the child wear braces at night until they are old enough to walk(Lily had this procedure done in China). Once the child is walking the weight of their own body will keep the feet properly aligned and the achilles tendon lengthened and they will no longer have to wear braces.

In Lily's case the casting/braces worked well on one foot but not on the other. Normally a child her age has been weight bearing on their feet for quite some time. Lily is not and that is probably a contributing factor to her left foot reverting to its old position.

Now in addition to the series of six casts that she will wear over the next 6 weeks, she will under go surgery to lengthen her achilles tendon. It is hard to have to put her through this, but this is something we have to do now otherwise we are risking her future ability to walk and run and play. The older she gets the less and less flexible and malleable her joints and tendons will become.

Lily has taken this all in stride. Not one single complaint out of her so far. Thankfully we only have to do the one foot. She is such a trooper!

Connections of the Heart

As Lily ushers in her second year of life I can't help but think about how different her life is today compared to her life in China. Even as she makes miraculous strides in development, in many ways they serve as a stark reminder of just how extremely deprived and damaging her first year and a half of life really was. Something as simple as walking underneath a canopy of trees is a stunning and delightful experience for her. Yet with all of the new and beautiful things and experiences at her finger tips, she still withdraws to her private, personal shell (though less and less). And while it may seem like every parent's dream to have a child the rarely if ever cries, for me, it is a gut wrenching reminder that humanity proved to her early on that crying does no good and no one cares anyway.
Our little flower is getting stronger and healthier every day, but it will take a long time and constant, intense care and love to help her set her roots deep to give her the stability she will need to bloom in abundance.
And in answer to the many unspoken questions and concerns - yes we know Lily isn't doing all of the things normal 2 year olds do. No we are not oblivious to her delays, nor are we glossing over them and hoping they will just go away. I think many people are worried that we are simply blinded by love and don't see the reality of how significant her delays are - rest assured we know. What we do have is a strong and deep faith that God will help Mike and I help Lily reach the full potential the He has in mind for her. I don't even try to imagine what plans God has for her, because if I try to do that with my limited imagination I might unwittingly inhibit a potential that is beyond my comprehension.
I hope this posting doesn't seem heavy and depressing because it isn't meant to be. Lily is such a tremendous joy and blessing. Every day she teaches me new things about love, life, strength, determination, and above all else, faith and hope. The scripture that we started this journey with is even more true and fitting today than it was then: Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

I cannot see the future, but my hope rests in God who brought about the miracle of this little girl in the first place and took us on the most amazing journey to unite us as a family.

New Month, New Adventures

Can we really be in March already?! Time gets screwed up when you have kids I am finding:-) It feels like just yesterday that we brought Lily home, and at the same time it feels like she has been with us forever.
Lily is changing so fast we can't even keep track of all of the progress she is making on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. She is getting so strong and she is really beginning to develop her own personality. She is sweet and quirky and a little goofy.
What can I say - we are so blessed by God to have this little firecracker of a girl in our lives. I can't even begin to describe what it is like to watch God working so directly and evidently in our lives - in her life.
Thank you God.

Jennifer

Valentine's Day/Chinese New Year 2010

Thought you all might like to see some pictures of a little girl who is blossoming into the most amazing little personality. I think it is pretty easy to see the difference from the pictures at Christmas time to the ones we took today.
Two weeks ago Lily had tubes put in her ears and the advance hearing test done that tested her brain stem response to sound (ABR test). Once again God has answered our prayers and shown us His amazing power of healing and restoration. Her hearing test came back with 99% perfect hearing. They are going to watch her right ear because at the very lowest tones there was a questionable response but they are fairly certain that is because of the considerable amount of wax that was in that ear in combination with having the tube inserted that was causing the questionable reading. Even if there is a small amount of hearing loss at the lower level it is not anything that will cause her any kind of impairment - most of you who have ever spent any time listening to rock and roll probably have more impairment than she does:-)
It is so easy to watch God answering prayers for this little girl because it is so easy to believe that she deserves to have these prayers answered. But God loves each and everyone of us just as much as He loves her and He wants to show us that, if we would just ask Him to come in to our hearts.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. " James 1:17

Jennifer

Praise God!

A lot changes in the course of 6 months! Last May/June we were looking at the file of a little girl who was stealing our hearts with her smile. A little girl who we were told had serious hearing loss and serious developmental delays and possibly mental retardation. We prayed a lot. God is this the little girl you have chosen for us? God are you sure we can handle all of these medical/developmental problems? What if she is too broken, God? What if we don't love her the way you do? We can't see the future, God, but we can see all of the big and scary what if's, so what if? We can't see where this is going God!

Back to the verse with which we started this journey:
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

We could not see the beauty and purity of spirit that we have come to find that our Lily possesses. We could not see the inner strength she carries in her thin and delicate frame. We could not see her determination or her boundless joy and enthusiasm for life. We had no assurance of healing for her delays and physical difficulties.

Yet we hoped and prayed for all of these things.

On Monday Lily went for her hearing test. Not only can she hear in both ears, and pretty well at that, her hearing will be dramatically improved with the simple procedure of having tubes placed to remove fluid build up in her middle ear - a common problem that so many children have. She does have considerable fluid build up, and has probably had that most of her life. Because of her age and how long she has had difficulties the doctor will also do a more advanced, thorough hearing test at the same time as her tube placement to pinpoint exactly what she hears and the quality of that hearing. At this point it looks like any hearing loss she will retain after the tube placement will be minimal!

Lily is daily growing in strength and in personality:-) To think that we could possibly have missed the beauty and wonder of this little girl is an unbearable thought! Thank you God for giving us the faith we needed to trust in your plan for us and for Lily.

Jennifer

More Pictures

I especially love the picture of Lily with her cousin Parker:-) Lily seems so tiny and delicate, but look how long she is next to 3 year old Parker?!! She would be almost as tall as he is if they were standing up - LOL!!

Time Flys!

Well, here we are, nearly the middle of January already! Wanted to get a few pictures up from the holidays so here they are. Lily sailed through the craziness of Christmas without missing a beat.
She is continuing to gain strength and size. We weighed and measured her at the end of December and she had gained 2 1/2 pound and 2" in length since the end of November!! She sleeps 12 hours a night and takes a two hour nap almost every day. She eats like a horse, pretty much every two hours she needs food. I guess I would eat everything in site and sleep the rest of the time if I was growing that much too:-) She is at a total of 18 lbs. and 31". Of course she still looks like a string bean because she is growing in length so much, but she has definitely filled out.
Looking forward to meeting with the Ear/Nose/Throat specialist at Children's hospital next week for an evaluation of her hearing. Anxious to hear what they determine her hearing abilities to actually be. Other than that Lily is just plugging away at her physical, occupational, and speech therapy every week. She has a more complicated schedule than we do! - LOL
Enjoy the pictures!