God is Amazing

The pictures speak for themselves.

My Favorite Day

Today is the day I get to celebrate being the only thing I ever really wanted to be - a Mom.
Long awaited and most cherished. Thank you Lord for the most blessed daughter a mother could ask for.

Connections of the Heart

As Lily ushers in her second year of life I can't help but think about how different her life is today compared to her life in China. Even as she makes miraculous strides in development, in many ways they serve as a stark reminder of just how extremely deprived and damaging her first year and a half of life really was. Something as simple as walking underneath a canopy of trees is a stunning and delightful experience for her. Yet with all of the new and beautiful things and experiences at her finger tips, she still withdraws to her private, personal shell (though less and less). And while it may seem like every parent's dream to have a child the rarely if ever cries, for me, it is a gut wrenching reminder that humanity proved to her early on that crying does no good and no one cares anyway.
Our little flower is getting stronger and healthier every day, but it will take a long time and constant, intense care and love to help her set her roots deep to give her the stability she will need to bloom in abundance.
And in answer to the many unspoken questions and concerns - yes we know Lily isn't doing all of the things normal 2 year olds do. No we are not oblivious to her delays, nor are we glossing over them and hoping they will just go away. I think many people are worried that we are simply blinded by love and don't see the reality of how significant her delays are - rest assured we know. What we do have is a strong and deep faith that God will help Mike and I help Lily reach the full potential the He has in mind for her. I don't even try to imagine what plans God has for her, because if I try to do that with my limited imagination I might unwittingly inhibit a potential that is beyond my comprehension.
I hope this posting doesn't seem heavy and depressing because it isn't meant to be. Lily is such a tremendous joy and blessing. Every day she teaches me new things about love, life, strength, determination, and above all else, faith and hope. The scripture that we started this journey with is even more true and fitting today than it was then: Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

I cannot see the future, but my hope rests in God who brought about the miracle of this little girl in the first place and took us on the most amazing journey to unite us as a family.

New Month, New Adventures

Can we really be in March already?! Time gets screwed up when you have kids I am finding:-) It feels like just yesterday that we brought Lily home, and at the same time it feels like she has been with us forever.
Lily is changing so fast we can't even keep track of all of the progress she is making on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. She is getting so strong and she is really beginning to develop her own personality. She is sweet and quirky and a little goofy.
What can I say - we are so blessed by God to have this little firecracker of a girl in our lives. I can't even begin to describe what it is like to watch God working so directly and evidently in our lives - in her life.
Thank you God.

Jennifer

Praise God!

A lot changes in the course of 6 months! Last May/June we were looking at the file of a little girl who was stealing our hearts with her smile. A little girl who we were told had serious hearing loss and serious developmental delays and possibly mental retardation. We prayed a lot. God is this the little girl you have chosen for us? God are you sure we can handle all of these medical/developmental problems? What if she is too broken, God? What if we don't love her the way you do? We can't see the future, God, but we can see all of the big and scary what if's, so what if? We can't see where this is going God!

Back to the verse with which we started this journey:
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

We could not see the beauty and purity of spirit that we have come to find that our Lily possesses. We could not see the inner strength she carries in her thin and delicate frame. We could not see her determination or her boundless joy and enthusiasm for life. We had no assurance of healing for her delays and physical difficulties.

Yet we hoped and prayed for all of these things.

On Monday Lily went for her hearing test. Not only can she hear in both ears, and pretty well at that, her hearing will be dramatically improved with the simple procedure of having tubes placed to remove fluid build up in her middle ear - a common problem that so many children have. She does have considerable fluid build up, and has probably had that most of her life. Because of her age and how long she has had difficulties the doctor will also do a more advanced, thorough hearing test at the same time as her tube placement to pinpoint exactly what she hears and the quality of that hearing. At this point it looks like any hearing loss she will retain after the tube placement will be minimal!

Lily is daily growing in strength and in personality:-) To think that we could possibly have missed the beauty and wonder of this little girl is an unbearable thought! Thank you God for giving us the faith we needed to trust in your plan for us and for Lily.

Jennifer